六人行2-1The One With Ross' New
Girlfriend
[Scene: Central Perk,
Phoebe is recapping last season, and
as she talks we see a montague
of scenes from Ross and
Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this
is pretty much what's happened
so far. Ross was in love with
Rachel since, you know, forever, but
every time he tried to tell
her, something kind of got in
the way, like cats, and Italian
guys. Finally Chandler was like
"forget about her" but when Ross
was in China on his dig,
Chandler let it slip that Ross
was in love with Rachel. She
was like, "Oh my god." So she
went to the airport to meet him
when he came back, but what she
didn't know was, that Ross was
getting off the plane with another
woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty
much everything you need to know.
But, enough about us. So,
how've you been?
Opening
Credits
[Scene, The Airport,
continued from last season, Rachel is
waiting for Ross to come of the
plane, when she sees he's
coming off with another
woman.]
Rachel: Oh my god.
Oh my god. (She decides to make
a break for it.) Excuse me.
Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She
tries climbing over a bench and
falls down.)
Ross: (seeing
her) Rach!
Rachel: Oh, there
you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how
was China, you? (Hits him with
the flowers.)
Ross: It was,
it was great. Oh, what
happened?
Rachel:
What?
Ross: You're
bleeding.
Rachel: I am? Oh,
look at that, yes I am. Enough
about me, enough about me, Mr.
Back from the Orient. Come on.
I wanna hear everything! Everything.
(Looks at Julie)
Ross: Well,
where do I start? This is
Julie. Julie, this is
Rachel.
Rachel: These are,
these aren't for you. (to
Julie) These are for you. (Loudly,
thinking she can't speak English.)
Welcome to our country.
Julie:
(Loudly, proving she can speak
English.) Thank you. I'm from
New York.
Rachel: Ok, well,
not a problem. We'll just use
them to stop the bleeding. Ok.
Baggage claim? Ok.
[Scene:
Monica and Rachel's, the gang
is waiting for Rachel to return
from the airport with
Ross.]
Chandler: No
way!
Monica: I'm telling
you, she went to the airport,
and she's gonna go for it
with Ross!
Phoebe: Oh my
god. This is huge. This is
bigger than huge. This is like,
all right, what's bigger than
huge?
Joey: Um,
this?
Phoebe:
Yes.
Monica: Guys, you got
your hair cut.
Chandler: Yes,
yes, we did, thanks to Vidal
Buffay.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you
know, (in that voice) if you
don't look good, we don't
look good. I love that
voice.
Rachel: (entering, out
of breath) Airport, airport. Ross, not
alone, Julie, arm around her. Cramp,
cramp.
Chandler: Ok, I think
she's trying to tell us
something. Quick, get the
verbs.
(She hits
Chandler.)
Rachel: (to Chandler)
You, you, you said he liked me.
(Ross and Julie enter) You, you
slowpokes!
Ross: That's all
right, Rach, we got the bags.
Hi, hello. Julie, this is my
sister Monica. This is Chandler.
Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Joey:
What up?!
Ross: Everyone, this
is Julie.
Rachel: (out of
breath) Julie.
All: Ohh.
(Happily) Hi!
Julie: Hi, but
I'm not here, you haven't
met me. I'll make a much
better first impression tomorrow when
I don't have 20 hours of cab
and plane on me.
Ross:
And bus.
Julie: Oh my
god.
Ross: The screaming
guy?
Julie: And the
spitting?
Ross: You gotta hear
this story.
Julie: We're
on this bus, that's easily 200
years old...
Ross: 200 at
least.
Julie: ...and this
guy...
Rachel: And the chicken
pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm
so sorry. I just gave away the
ending, didn't I? Oh! It's
just, I just heard this story
in the cab, and it is all
I can think about.
Monica:
This is amazing. I mean, how,
how did this happen?
Julie:
Well, Ross and I were in grad
school together.
Ross: But we
haven't seen each other since
then. Well I land in China,
guess who's in charge of the
dig.
Rachel: Julie! Julie,
isn't that great? I mean,
isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch,
spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Monica:
(to Julie) It's an
expression.
Ross: Well, we just
wanted to say a quick hi, and
then we're gonna go see the
baby.
Julie: And then
we've gotta get some
sleep.
Ross: Yeah, it's
really 6:00 tomorrow night our
time.
Chandler: Well, listen,
don't tell us what's gonna
happen though, 'cause I like to
be surprised.
(Ross and Julie
exit)
Rachel: Bye. (She closes
the door and everyone tries to
sympathize with her.)
[Scene:
Central Perk, Ross and Chandler
enter.]
Ross: Hey, Rach, can
I get some coffee?
Rachel:
Yeah, sure.
Ross: Thank
you.
Chandler: Hey, Rach, can
I get...
Rachel: Did you
talk to him?
Chandler: Not
yet.
Rachel: Then,
no.
(He goes to sit down
next to Ross.)
Chandler: So
what the hell happened to you
in China? I mean, when last we
left you, you were totally in
love with, you know.
Ross:
I know, I know I was, but
there was always this little voice
inside that kept saying it's
never gonna happen, move on. You
know whose voice that
was?
Chandler:
God?
Ross: It was you,
pal.
Chandler: Well, maybe it
was God, doing me.
Ross:
Look, you were right. She looks
at me and sees a friend,
that's all. But then I met
Julie, and I don't know,
we're havin' a great time. And
I have to say, I never
would've gone for it with her
if it hadn't been for
you.
Chandler: Well, you owe
me one, big guy.
Rachel:
(To Ross) Here's your
lemonade.
Ross: I didn't
order lemonade.
Rachel: Oh.
Well then, you better go take
that back because they're gonna
charge you for that.
Ross:
But...
Rachel: Go-go-go-go, come
on! (Ross goes over to the
counte) (to Chandler) So uh, what
did you find out?
Chandler:
He said...he said, he said that
they're having a great time.
I'm sorry. But, the silver
lining, if you wanna see it, is
that he made the decision all
by himself! Without any outside help
whatsoever.
Rachel: How is that
the silver lining?
Chandler:
You have to really wanna see
it.
[Scene: Monica and
Rachel's, Ross and the gang is
watching Sumo wrestling on
TV.]
Ross: Ironically, these
are the guys who were picked
last in gym.
[Cut to
Phoebe and Monica in the
kitchen.]
Monica: Pheebes, you
know what I'm
thinking?
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How,
it's been so long since
you've had ***, you're
wondering if they've changed
it?
Monica: No, although now
that's what I'm
thinking.
Phoebe: All right, so
what were you thinking?
Monica:
Well, I was thinking, that you
gave the guys such great haircuts,
I thought, maybe you'd like to
do mine?
Phoebe: Ohh!
No.
Monica: Why
not?
Phoebe: Because, I'm
just, I'm incredibly anal and
an unbelievable control
freak.
Monica: No you're
not.
Phoebe: I know I'm
not, but you are, and I was
trying to spare your
feelings.
(The phone
rings.)
Joey: (answering the
phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold
on a second. Ross, it's Julie,
for you. (Throws him the
phone.)
Ross: (on phone) Hello?
Hi.
Chandler: (entering) Hi.
Anybody know a good
tailor?
Joey: Needs some
clothes altered?
Chandler: No,
no, I'm just looking for a
man to draw on me with
chalk.
Joey: Why don't
you go see Frankie? My family's
been goin' to him forever. He
did my first suit when I was
15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15.
(still confused) All right, when was
1990?
Chandler: Okay. You have
to stop the Q-tip when there's
resistance!
Ross: (on phone)
Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see
you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits
down next to Rachel) Oh, that
is so sweet. No, no, ok, you
hang up. Ok, ok, one, two,
three. (Doesn't hang up and
motions for Rachel to be quiet)
Well you didn't hang up
either.
Rachel: She didn't
hang up either!
Ross: Ok,
no, no, you hang up. You, you,
y...
Rachel: (taking the phone
and hanging it up) Sorry, I
thought you were talking to
me.
Ross: Rachel! I'll
just call her back.
Rachel:
Okay!
Ross: (calls Julie back)
Hi? Sorry, we got disconnected...
(Walks away.)
Rachel: (to
Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did
this happen to me? How did this
happen to me? A week ago, two
weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was
just Ross, just this guy. Now
he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really
great guy that I can't
have.
Monica: Sweetie, I wanted
you to have him
too.
Rachel: I know you
did. I'm just gonna deal with
it, I'm just gonna deal with
it. (Ross comes by, smoching with
Julie on the phone.) I gotta
get out of here.
(Exits)
Chandler: Ok, I
don't care what you guys say,
something's bothering
her.
[Scene: Monica and
Rachel's, the next
morning.]
Joey: (to Chandler)
You know, I think I was
sixteen.
Monica: (to Phoebe)
Please, just a little bit off
the back.
Phoebe: I'm
still on "no."
Rachel: (poking
her head in from her bedroom)
Uh, morning. Do you guys think
you could close your eyes for
just a sec?
Joey:
No-no-no-no-no, (grabs his pants) I'm
not fallin' for that
again.
Phoebe: What's goin'
on?
Rachel: Well, I sorta
did a stupid thing last
night.
Chandler: What stupid
thing did you do?
Paulo:
(entering from Rachel's room) Bon
giorno tutti!
Phoebe: Ewww!
(Gets up and walks
away.)
Commercial
Break
[Scene: Monica and
Rachel's, continued from
earlier.]
Rachel: Ok, Paulo,
why don't you just go get
dressed, and then you be on
your way, ok, bye-bye. (Paulo goes
into his room.)
Monica: Rachel,
how did this happen?
Rachel:
I don't know, I just kinda
ran into him last
night.
Phoebe:
Where?
Rachel: At his
apartment. Is this juice?
Joey:
Whoa, whoa. And the fact that
you dumped him because he hit
on Phoebe?
Rachel: Oh God,
I know I'm a pathetic
loser.
Monica: Honey, you're
not pathetic, you're
sad.
Chandler: People do stupid
things when they're
upset.
Monica: My god, if
I had a nickel for every guy
I wish I hadn't...(Everyone
looks at her), but this is
about your horrible
mistake.
(Ross and Julie
enter.)
All: Hi!
Ross:
Hi. Sorry we're late but we
were?well, there was
touching.
Paulo: (entering) Hey,
hey Ross.
Ross: Hey, Paulo.
What are you doing
here?
Paulo: I do
Raquel.
Ross: (to Rachel) So,
uh, he's back.
Rachel:
Yeah, he's back. Is that a
problem?
Ross: No, not a
problem.
Rachel: Good! I'm
glad it's not a
problem.
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok,
you're gonna have to not touch
my ass.
Chandler: Well, in
spite of the yummy bagels and
palpable tension, I've got pants
that need to be
altered.
Joey: Hey, Chandler,
when you see Frankie, tell him
Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll
know what it means.
Chandler:
Are you sure he's gonna be
able to crack that
code?
Monica: (to Phoebe) You
know it's funny, the last time
Paulo was here, my hair was so
much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe:
All right. Ok, but, but! You
have to promise that you will
not be all like control-y and
bossy and Monica about
it.
Monica: I
promise.
Phoebe: All right.
(Talking to Monica's hair.) Now
some of you are gonna get cut,
and some of you aren't. But
I promise none of you are gonna
feel a thing.
[Scene:
Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing
with her haircut and Monica is
whincing.]
Phoebe: All right,
that's it, I
quit.
Monica: What? I
didn't say anything.
Phoebe:
Yeah, but this (makes Monica's
face) isn't the face of a
person who trusts a person. Ok,
this (makes Monica's face) is
the face of a person who, you
know, doesn't trust a
person.
Monica: I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just
a little shorter than what we
had discussed.
Phoebe: Would
you relax? I know what I am
doing. This is how he wears
it.
Monica: How who wears
it?
Phoebe: Demi
Moore.
Monica: Demi Moore is
not a he.
Phoebe: Well,
he was a he in Arthur, and
in Ten.
Monica: That's
Dudley Moore. I said I wanted
it like Demi Moore.
Phoebe:
Oh. Oh!
Monica: Oh my
God!
Phoebe: Oh my
God!
Monica: Oh my
God!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which
one's Demi Moore?
Monica:
She's the actress that was in
Disclosure, Indecent Proposal,
Ghost!
Phoebe: Oh, she's
got gorgeous hair.
Monica: I
know!
[Scene: Frank's tailor
shop, Chandler is getting his pants
measured.]
Frankie: How long do
you want the cuffs?
Chandler:
At least as long as I have
the pants.
(Pause as Frankie
resumes his work.)
Frankie: I
just got that. Ok, now we'll
do your inseam.
(He slowly
measures it up his leg, and
Chandler makes a rather surprised
face.)
[Scene: Monica and
Rachel's, Monica is recovering from
her haircut, Phoebe is playing her
doctor and is coming in from
the bedroom.]
Rachel: How is
she?
Phoebe: It's too
soon to tell. She's resting,
which is a good
sign.
Ross: How's the
hair?
Phoebe: I'm not
gonna lie to you, Ross, it
doesn't look good. I put a
clip on one side, which seems
to have stopped the
curling.
Joey: Can we see
her?
Phoebe: Your hair looks
too good, I think it would
upset her. Ross, why don't you
come on in.
Ross: Yeah.
(Gets up, but then pauses when
he realizes what that
meant.)
(They go into the
bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel
alone.)
Joey: How're you
doing?
Rachel: I'm
okay.
Joey: Ooh, that bad,
huh?
Rachel:
What?
Joey: Look, I can
sense when women are depressed and
vulnerable. It's one of my
gifts.
Rachel: When I saw
him get off that plane with
her, I really thought I hit
rock bottom. But today, it's
like there's rock bottom, 50 feet
of crap, then me.
Joey:
You gotta tell Ross how you
feel.
Rachel: Come on. How
can I just tell him? What about
Julie?
Joey: What about her?
They've only been going out for
two weeks. Ross has been in
love with you for like 10
years.
Rachel: I don't
know, I don't
know.
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach!
I've been with my share of
women. In fact, I've been with
like a lot of people's share
of women. The point is, I've
never felt about anyone the way
Ross felt about you.
Chandler:
(entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I
talk to you for a sec? (Pause)
Your tailor is a very bad
man!
Joey: Frankie? What're
you talking about?
Ross:
(entering from the bedroom) Hey,
what's goin' on? (Pats Chandler
on the shoulder which causes him
to jump.)
Chandler: Joey's
tailor...took advantage of
me.
Ross: What?
Joey:
No way. I've been going to
the guy for 12 years.
Chandler:
Oh come on! He said he was
going to do my inseam, and he
ran his hand up my leg, and
then, there was
definite...
Ross:
What?
Chandler:
Cupping.
Joey: That's how
they do pants! First they go up
one side, they move it over,
then they go up the other side,
they move it back, and then
they do the rear. (Chandler and
Ross stare at him) What? Ross,
Ross, would you tell him? Isn't
that how they measure
pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it
is. In prison! Whatsa matter with
you?
Joey: What? That's
not? (Realizes) Oh my
God.
[Scene: Monica and
Rachel's, later that day. Monica
is now out and
about.]
Monica: Even Mary Tyler
Moore would've been
better.
Ross: I like it.
I do, I think it's a
Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Monica:
Thank you. My hair is very
amused.
Chandler: Come on,
Monica, things could be worse. You
could get caught between the moon
and New York City. I know
it's crazy, but it's
true.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and
Ross) Thank you.
Ross: Well,
I gotta go. Bye. Bye,
Rach.
Rachel: (sticking her
head in from the balcony) Wait,
are you leaving?
Ross: Yeah,
that's kinda what I meant by
"bye!"
Rachel: Well, can I
talk to you for a
sec?
Ross: Okay. (goes out
onto the balcony)
Joey: Hey,
when the doctor does that hernia
test...
Chandler: That's
ok.
[Out on the
balcony]
Ross: What's goin'
on?
Rachel: Well, first of
all, Paulo and I are not back
together. It was just a stupid
thing I did, and if I could
go back in time and do it
again, well, I wouldn't. Um,
second of all (Ross is laughing),
what?
Ross: Ok. Well, before
I say anything, I just need to
know, is this one of those
things where you break up with
a guy, and then I tell you
what I think, and then the next
day you get back together with
the guy, and I look like a
complete idiot?
Rachel: No.
No-no-no-no.
Ross: Well, then,
I think, I think the guy is
scum. I hate him. I mean I
actually?I-I physically hate him. I
always have. You are way too
good to be with a guy like
that.
Rachel:
Really?
Ross: You deserve to
be with someone who appreciates you,
and who gets how funny and
sweet and amazing, and adorable, and
***y you are, you know? Someone
who wakes up every morning thinking
"Oh my god, I'm with Rachel".
You know, someone who makes you
feel good, the way I am with
Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but
hearing that she starts to back
up.) Was there a second of
all?
Rachel: No, I think
that was the whole
all.
Ross: Okay. Okay. (They
hug.) Okay.
[Cut back inside,
Joey is on the
phone.]
Joey: I swear to
god, Dad. That's not how they
measure pants.
Closing
Credits
[Scene: Central Perk,
Julie is wanting to get her
hair cut from Phoebe.]
Julie:
I was thinking of doing it a
little shorter, you know, like Andie
McDowell's new haircut?
Phoebe:
Oh yeah! Oh, I can do
that.
Julie:
Really?
Phoebe: You wanna do
it right now?
Julie: Great!
(Julie leaves)
Phoebe: (to
Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be
really sure this time. Andie
McDowell's the girl from Four
Weddings and a Funeral,
right?
Rachel: No. No no
no no no. That's Rodney
McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy
from Planet of the
Apes.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok,
thank you.
Rachel: You're
welcome.
End
阅读(1828) | 评论(0) | 转发(0) |