分类： 其他平台
2013-10-26 14:51:36
This may be harder than it sounds, if you have a child who doesn't interact well with others or who makes trouble. Play dates may not be an option. Other families might not be as open to inviting you over, knowing you have a child who doesn't always act with propriety. But if you can, find friends who are supportive and understanding. Find parents who may have children with similar issues.
When my son was young, group gatherings were difficult. All the other kids laughed and played together. My son wandered off, or started fights, or climbed onto the roof to check out the airconditioning vents. (True story.) At times I felt extremely alone. But I had good friends who loved my son, despite the fact that every time we went to their house he started their dishwasher, tried to unplug the television, and rummage through the storage closet. I also had strong family ties that helped me get through those most difficult years.
3. Take care of yourself.
Having a difficult child can wear you down. At times give and give without getting much in return. It can be demoralizing. You have to be on your game all the time. Which means you need your rest, you need to keep things in order, and you need to get a break. Find ways to nurture your own talents. Take a dance or art class. Join a gym. Join a book club or participate in a writing group. Communicate with your spouse the need to share responsibilities so you can take some time for yourself.
I find when I have had some time to myself to write or exercise, or just to sew, I am a much better mom. I am able to cope with the daily challenges. I've had to learn the hard way that I can't go 100 percent all the time. Some people can. Not me. So I set aside the laundry some nights so I can write. Sometimes I choose to sew instead of scrub. I never regret those choices.
4. Make concessions.
No one expects to have a child with special needs. Visions of going on picnics or on family trips to the library may not be feasible at this stage, or ever. You may have planned to home school, only to realize that your child needs special care. Don't be so rigid that you're not willing to change your plans to accommodate your child. In the end, you and your family will be happier.
I was so determined to raise my kids without media that they didn't watch a lick of TV for four years. Good for them? Sure, but I was exhausted. Looking back, I see how much even 30 minutes a day would have helped relieve me. I have learned to relax (a bit). We still watch very little TV, but I'm not averse to putting it on when I need a break. I also had certain ideas of what my kids would be doing at each age: piano lessons at 6, sports at 7, etc. I've had to change my plans to accommodate these challenges with my son. I am learning to be more flexible.
5. Don't compare yourself or your child to others.
From the moment they are born, children are put on a milestone timeline. But each kid develops at a different pace. Children with special needs may be on a different level entirely. The smallest of tasks may be overwhelming. Recognize that your child will get there at her own pace. She may not potty train until she is 4, or ride a bike until she is 8. Let her know she is loved.
When my son finally learned to swing himself on the swing it was years after most kids, but he was so proud. We were proud, too. His strengths are not typical for a child his age. And they are not necessarily in the areas we had hoped. But he is a wonderful, unique boy, and we love him for who he is and who he will become.
6. Celebrate the accomplishments.
