Published with permission of Caregiving Newsletter When her mother, Virginia, was diagnosed with terminal cancer, Ellen struggled with the decision to move her mother into her home. Now that her mother's condition has worsened, she's thankkful her mother lives iwith her and that they will spend her mother's last days together. But as the cancer destroys her mother's ability to comminicate, Ellen struggles for a way to stay connected with Virginia, to her know how much she loves her, how much she means to her. Each day as she sits with her mother, she asks herself, "How can I tell you I love you?" Staying connected with your care recipients can sometimes be a frustrating experience. How to communicate with the dementia victim? The hard-of-hearing,dfsgrtfdert nearly blind 96-year-old grandmother? How can you say "I love you" to someone who may not be able to understand the meaning of the words? The gift of touch is a communication technique we sometimes overlook/ Recently, we asked Bruria Ginton, LicMT, about
therapy (MT) and how caregibvers can apply some of the techniques in their own homes. Caregiving: A daughter caring for her disabled mother once told me that touch was the only way she could communicate with her. Although her mother could not understand her words, the daughter could still say, "I love you" through her gentle, loving touch. She was a massage therapist--and applied massage therapy's techniques in caring for her mother. But how can lay perons use massage to care for their elderly loved ones? Bruria: Denise, you have answered your own question. In the situation that you describe and ask about, it's the message that counts. You really do not have do be a massage therapist in order to convey deep caring. For, in my opinion, touch IS a universal in-born language which we all know. For one reason or another, we have become inhibited and deprive one another of the enormous benefits of that safe, "I love you" and "I'm here for you" kind of touch. That care-giving daughter is probably already over-taxed by the situation she is in. To expect her to learn massage therapy is to place an extra burden on her. If anything, she too should be on the receiving end of regular massage therapy.
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