Difficult to sleep tonight

Since high four, dad is in the field work, mom near the school rented a house with my reading. The two day mother home to busy home housing reform thing, only elderly aunt and me in this let inside company. Now, she has to go back to my home to sleep there Lao in short to the.

Across the way "lane deep barbecue" just give a life in the world the joy and confusion, now began to silence; Just like noise to the taxi "subwoofer", now have become mute; Just in the wanton bite at the drunken man hot girls, now but also as "subwoofer" disappear together......

- night, deep; People, be still. Only the kang desk that and desk lamp together clocks brother is at that ticked away conscientious along with his every minute every seconds...

The days that a rather quiet heart, also with the coming of the quiet night and calm down. Yes, this settle to comb a comb over the years, the settle to trimmed the chaos of the thoughts, this calm down and think about it later way exactly how to go.

Then, tonight to hard to sleep.
The changes have been in the past for nearly 10 years, although everyone has no longer entwine on who to who wrong, but it for each of the members of the family influence, but is still so deep and hard to get. However, I am very pleased to is: after all, a family or a family, everyone is enjoying the thinking and the thinking and concern and concern, to love and to be loved happiness and happiness - we are family - this is the most important!

After about changes to the whole family and the influence of each family members, really too deep is too complex, not a few words can say clearly. Of course everyone has different feelings and feelings, I saw and felt to see --

Our family a few small home to several of the most affected our three young home, mainly is the economic distress, followed by the economic distress and changes caused by itself the social public opinion of the negative pressure.

Parents in the generation, most affected is mother, followed by dad, over the years they will be a lot of people had no pain and pain.

We of this generation of the countries most affected are I and brother-in-law's eldest brother and two elder sister. At that time the eldest brother and two elder sister are in high school, facing the university entrance exam, the changes not only let the eldest brother and tsinghua ideal passing by, and this should be after graduating from the university one's deceased father grind, he had to forgo one's deceased father grind to choose to work to earn money in order to reduce the economic burden of home. As for the two elder sister, is directly lost the chance to university work out, let alone what ideal. And I, first lost a period of this can be very happy young time, bring is nearly 10 years of bitter difficult journey, but also is likely to encounter and dreams as the eldest brother and institution of passing by fate.

But, I'm glad. I'm glad that in front of the fickleness of the world, in the misunderstanding and wrong under, in sarcasm and shame, I did not become ma3 jia jue2 or ZhengMinSheng such people, I'm glad that in his own self adjusting ability, and more fortunately and comfort is, in his own life, in addition to parents and straight near kinsman outside also appeared a lot of really care about their elders and friends - this is my whole life to enjoy not wealth, this is I solid psychological firewall.
However, in many relatives and friends eyes, I am a - it is not obedient, can't understand parents can't think for the parents, difficult to discipline, extreme, weak and promising boy.

- this really is to my misunderstanding and prejudice, and I'm not they think such.

Why do they will give me such an evaluation? You want to for a long time to understand: mainly is the ideas and social experience caused by different. Of course which I also did a lot of wrong just gave them as an impression.

Perhaps because experience too many changes right, I see a problem and things than their peers may be more deeply, more nature some and more long-term some, or may be better than many elders see further want to further. So, my behavior style to appear and others (especially the is and many peers) is not the same - this is the two years of things, be friends misunderstood, thought I was in the nonsense and make trouble without a cause or is in "take his life joke".

And the prejudice, and it was a bit of according to. When I was young really badly behaved: skip classes, do not do homework, steal home money to buy snacks and toy... It's me, but this is when I was a child, I not experienced many changes after me, not now I. And those friends and family is still in my childhood badly behaved to fathom my present behavior and psychology, and thus to me a "verse" prejudice - this also by the people to the thing in the stillness of the Angle to observation and evaluation by the way.

In fact, I always not care about these misunderstanding and prejudice. However, these misunderstanding and prejudice existence was affected parents especially mother to my judgment, caused me a lot of unnecessary trouble and argument, which caused a lot of things complicated, thus caused the I and parents for many road on the choice of the helpless.