My reading-writing exercise book I (欢迎批改)
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Foreword
This is my reading-writing exercise notebook. Whenever I finish my first draft, I will send it to Uncle Yeti for revision. Because this is essentially my work, Uncle Yeti only corrects the obvious mistakes and retaines my style. He wants to give other people a chance to voice their opinion. Therefore everyone is welcome to revise my essay. Thank you.
Reading Assignment. Thread I (Entertainment related) (Lastest: HERO)
Part I of movie review of "Hero"
The red-robed man was standing in a windy field of deep yellow trees as lemon-coloured leaves blew across the ground, before settling down like slow-motion raindrops. After a while, he sat on a big rock and plucked the strings of a guitar, a happy solo which was ever played by yeti. This solo reminded him of the words of crouching tigers and hidden dragons on Rainlane.
Part II of Movie Review
Directed by Zhang Yimou, Hero has a different flavor from his previous works--Red Sorghum and Raise the Red Lantern which had the extravagant beauty but none of the soaring battles. It retells of an assassination plot against the first Chinese Emperor of the Qin dynasty. Jet Li plays as the Nameless warrior. The fights between Nameless and the assassins are choreographed as slick and stylized sword fights or sometimes as dreamy fights through rich forests.
Yeti
Good, that's the spirit: keep participating, keep practicing.
山定子
Part III
Reading Assignment , August 29th.
Here is the rest of that movie review.
The stories of Nameless involved a lover's triangle of enemies. The players express their deadly expertise rather wonderfully. The convolutions are blended with massive sets and costumes as fine as possible. You thrill in one scene to another and are mesmerized by a series of spinning fights.
Reading Assigment Thread II: Latest(9/4:2-3: Post Job Interview Letter )
Reference number 2-1
Employers are usually deluged by huge resumes everyday. They must quickly scan them in about 20-30 seconds. If your resume doesn't meet an employer's desire within these first seconds, it is likely to kiss the paper shredder.
Qualifications letters which are intentionally brief and concise get straight to the bottom line by highlighting your qualifications and matching them to employers' job requirements. Qualifications letters are called Q letters for short.
2-2 Letter of Complaint
Gray Wolf
P.O. Box 2582
Potato, Eden 78780
September 10, 2004
Mr. Cool Sheep
Chicken's Solaris Company
P.O. Box 2852
8008 White Sea Blvd.
Charming fish, Mercury 88500
Dear Mr. Sheep:
Last week I purchased a Sun-Blade-2000 workstation. I made this purchase on August 31, 2004 at the Chicken's Solaris Company.
Unfortunately, your product has not performed satisfactorily because there are 120 bad sectors on the No.2 SCSI disk.
Therefore, to solve the problem, I would appreciate your sending me a new one as soon as possible. The SCSI disk is guaranteed for one year. Enclosed are copies of my receipt, model and serial numbers.
I am looking forward to your reply and resolution of my problem. I have used many of your products in the past and hope to continue a positive relationship with your company and its products in the future. Contact me by phone at the mumber: 5898666 or 5899888.
Sincerely,
Gray Wolf 
II-3 Post-interview "Thank you letter"
Gray Wolf
P.O. Box 2582
Potato, Eden 78780
(0373)888-6666
wxr666@163.com
September 20, 2004
Mr. Cool Sheep
Chicken's Solaris Company
P.O. Box 2852
8008 White Sea Blvd.
Charming fish, Mercury 88500
Dear Mr. Cool Sheep:
I want to thank you very much for interviewing me yesterday for the Solaris workstation administrator position. After speaking with you, I think I am much better prepared to pursue administrator opportunities.
The interview strengthened my enthusiasm for the position and interest in working for Chicken. I believe my education and cooperative education experiences fit nicely with the job requirements, and I'm certain I could make a significant contribution to the company over time.
I would like to reiterate my strong interest in the position and in working with you and your staff. I appreciate very much your witty and instructive words and cherish that happy time we shared at the interview. Please feel free to call me at the telephone number listed above if you need additional information.
Again, thank you for the interview and for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Gray Wolf
Gray Wolf
Pastime
The thank you letter can be improved. Here is my two cents:
I want to thank you for interviewing me yesterday for the Solaris workstation administrator position. After speaking with you, I am even more convinced that Chicken is the right company for me and the workstation administrator position is a right next step for my career.
Your description of the position gave me a much better understanding of the job requriements. My qualifications, especially my 3 year experience in computer maintenance, fit the job requirements very nicely. (The point here is to emphasize something specific, remind the reader your biggest asset.) I believe that I can be a valuable addition to your Workstation Administrators Group and make a significant contribution to your company. (No need to mention education, the reader should already know that. By the way, I don't know what cooperative education experiences are. If you are a high level professional, you should also point out here what problems will be solved or needs will be met if they hire you. Be as specific as possible.)
I appreciate very much your time and consideration. ("witty and instructive words and cherish that happy time we shared at the interview" are not necessary. Cherish is inappropriate here. Enjoy is a better word.) Please feel free to call me at the telephone number listed above if you need additional information.
Obviously, there is more than one way of writing a letter like this.
山定子
Thanks Mr. Pastime.
II-3 Post-interview "Thank you letter" (revised by Mr. Pastime)
Gray Wolf
P.O. Box 2582
Potato, Eden 78780
(0373)888-6666
wxr666@163.com
September 20, 2004
Mr. Cool Sheep
Chicken's Solaris Company
P.O. Box 2852
8008 White Sea Blvd.
Charming fish, Mercury 88500
Dear Mr. Cool Sheep:
I want to thank you for interviewing me yesterday for the Solaris workstation administrator position. After speaking with you, I am even more convinced that Chicken is the right company for me and the workstation administrator position is a right next step for my career.
Your description of the position gave me a much better understanding of the job requriements. My qualifications, especially my 3 year experience in computer maintenance, fit the job requirements very nicely. I believe that I can be a valuable addition to your Workstation Administrators Group and make a significant contribution to your company.
I appreciate very much your time and consideration. Please feel free to call me at the telephone number listed above if you need additional information.
Sincerely,
Gray Wolf
Gray Wolf
Reading/writing assignments:Thread 3:Pros and Cons essays,(3-1, Sep 07)
The detriments of legalizing marijuana
Marijuana should not be legalized. The main reason is that it would increase the crime rate and cause other problems associated with the drug. Under the shelter of legalization, more and more people would be involved in the illegal possession, sale, manufacture or cultivation of marijuana. It is the source of crime.
Obviously, like ordinary herbs, legalizing it will make the drug readily available to teenagers. If the youth of our country are indulged in it and are mesmerized by its hallucination, they will eventually suffer both physically and psychologically.
Marijuana raises the patients' threshold of pain. It will mask or distort the symptoms of many illnesses and cause grievous consequences. For example, when a person has acute stomach-ache, and he takes marijuana at home instead of going to the hospital, it would be dangerous and would miss the best opportunity of treatment.
If you are addicted to pot, it will make you stupid, whimsical and unrealistic. You think you have limitless creativity and can manage things beyond your control. In this regard, it is dangerous and has less advantage than cigarettes.
Marijuana is addictive and dangerous. It causes lung cancer and makes people less enterprising.
I think the benefits of prohibiting pot far outweigh its detriments. Therefore this issue should be seriously addressed by our government.
betty.wang
shan dingzi is a hard working man and i learn from him much .
i must prepare for my examination and new job now and sorry for my leaving these days.
山定子
Thank you for your compliment, betty.wang.
Wish everything goes smooth with you.
I think the most important thing for me to do is to read more good articles written by native authors, and then to keep writing exercise. That's even better if I am lucky enough to get revision from people whose English is very good. I think it is the wise way for me to get improvement. 
Foothill
The essay is really pretty good. But as always, there is still room for improvement. I hope you don't mind my saying that. My general comments are not really English language specific. Intead, they are more like suggestions for better writing in general. I also added a section called Western Thinking on the issue discussed in the essay. I am certainly not asking you to give up your own opinions. But I thought since many of you will take exams graded by westerners, it might be helpful to know where your graders came from (i.e., their background).
General:
The essay did not discuss detriments of prohibition of marijuana. Therefore, when you said “benefits far outweigh detriments”, it makes the reader wonder what you are referring to.
To make your argument convincing, you need to go beyond just negative consequences of legalizing marijuana. There are other things that have negative consequences, too. Cigarettes and alcohol are just two of many examples. In order to justify the prohibition you suggested, you need to point out what is unique about marijuana that cigarettes and alcoholic drinks don’t have.
Western thinking on this issue:
At its core, the issue is how to balance the tradeoff between individuals’ rights to choose versus possible social concerns. People who support legalization of marijuana believe what they take into their bodies should be their own decision and the government has no right to intervene on this private matter. The people who are against it argue that using marijuana does affect other people, especially young people who are not mature enough to make wise decisions yet. Another consideration is that marijuana is addictive. Once you get addicted to it, people who are against marijuana argue that you loose control over your own life. You become incapable of making the right choice for yourself. Therefore, the government should intervene. This is by no means a comprehensive discussion of the issue. But it gives you a little taste of how the issue is debated in the western countries.
Specific:
Under the shelter of legalization, more and more people would be involved in the illegal possession, sale, manufacture or cultivation of marijuana. => Once legalized, …
It is the source of crime.=> a source (It is not the only source.)
Obviously, like ordinary herbs, legalizing it will make the drug readily available to teenagers.=> legalizing marijuana will make it readily available like ordinary herbs to teenagers.
Marijuana raises the patients' threshold of pain. It will mask=> cover up
In this regard, it is dangerous and has less advantage than cigarettes.=> it is more dangerous than cigarettes. (“Less advantage” implies that cigarettes have advantages.)
山定子
Thanks Mr. Foothill for your instructive opinion. I think I am a lucky dog to have you instruct me both on English and the background. If only you can keep helping me to improve my English and enrich my knowledge. If I am free, I will follow your advice and rewrite this essay. Thanks again.
Reading/writing assignment,thread4:#4-1 a simple love letter.
Dear Venus,
I am so glad that I met you at the White Crag Nunnery two years ago. I will never forget the beautiful song you sang for me by the clear brook near your house, the warmth of your hands, the sweet words, the unforgettable kisses, ...
Remember that sweet time when you held my hand and trimed my fingernails, while I looked at your eyes and talked to you cheerfully? You blushed a little, but looked more beautiful.
Most of all, I will chrish that moment when we looked at each other and presented love-promise souvenirs. You swore to marry me when you finished your monachism.
Althoug you will spend one more year in your Nunnery than I stay in my monastery. I will wait for you,...
Love,
Mars
Foothill
This last one is a bit old-fashioned. I don't know anyone who would write this kind of letter any more. Maybe I am just too old for this. I am curious. Do you or anyone you know write this kind of letters in Chinese when he falls in love with a girl? May be girls would write something like this in her diary?
I guess this could be used in combination with a romantic card you send to her after your first time together. Like a thank you card with romantic twist. My suggestion is to add some humor to it so it does not sound so serious. I think you need a woman to help you revise this one. Good luck.
山定子
Thanks Mr.Foothill for your comment on this exercise. This is Uncle Yeti's assignment ---thread 4-1, a simple love letter. To tell the truth, I rarely write love letters and do not know what style of love letter people write. I am quite awkward about this. If only a girl could give me a hand. 
Yeti
 I hope those two lovers are in there only for the training and not for becoming a monk and a nun !
|
littlebear
SDZ, is it true that a girl trimed your fingernails? I don't think I want to try trimming fingernails for other people. That is a dangerous task......
Foothill
Ok, SDZ, don't feel bad, when it comes to understanding women, we all need help. Even if you ask Yeti, I think he will tell you the same thing.
Sorry that my comments came out twice. I must have made a mistake.
山定子
以下是引用Yeti在2004-9-18 1:55:48的发言：
I hope those two lovers are in there only for the training and not for becoming a monk and a nun !
Thanks to your blessing, their lovely three-month old daughter is learning how to utter A, B, C. 
以下是引用littlebear在2004-9-18 3:13:42的发言：
SDZ, is it true that a girl trimed your fingernails? ...
Between you and me, it is true. 
以下是引用Foothill在2004-9-18 7:06:14的发言：...Sorry that my comments came out twice. I must have made a mistake.
You need not be sorry, Mr. Foothill. I am in a thankful heart if you can keep revising and commenting my writing exercise. 
Reading/Writing Assignment:**NEW**I-4(第13楼)The Orchid Ensemble.
=
The Cactus Studio
The Cactus Studio blends modern brushwork with computer technique and with excellence, creates three-dimensional animation that is both supernatural and lifelike.The Studio enfolds a variety of sound and lighting effects to its repertoire, ranging from human voice, animal cries to unnatural sounds; from subtle monochrome, 64 bit true color rendering to various filters. The fascinating yet cliff-hanging plots of animations expectably fascinates and delights its fans, and consistently receives rave reviews. Praised as 'One of the brightest blossoms on the world animation field' (The War of Mars), the Cactus Studio has been tirelessly developing an innovative cartoon style based on imagination and computer technique. The Cactus Studio actively collaborates with computer and cartoon experts all over the world and regularly updates its product. Recently its other tour de force, The War of The Dog Star, is in full swing on the net.
wind~
以下是引用山定子在2004-9-17 12:29:23的发言：
Reading/writing assignment,thread4:#4-1 a simple love letter.
You swore to marry me when you finished your monachism.
Althoug you will spend one more year in your Nunnery than I stay in my monastery. I will wait for you,...
Shan, these are the death of me , haha..., en, at that time ( Shan was in Tibet), his ten fingernails were always polished with enamel by the pretty nun. hehe..., (just kidding)
littlebear
at that time ( Shan was in Tibet), his ten fingernails were always polished with enamel by the pretty nun. hehe
Just a thought of it cracks me up. HA, HA, HA, HA.....真真笑死我了. SDZ, your love story will become a "classic". 
山定子
at that time ( Shan was in Tibet), his ten fingernails were always polished with enamel by the pretty nun. hehe
--------------------------------------------
Just a thought of it cracks me up. HA, HA, HA, HA.....真真笑死我了. SDZ, your love story will become a "classic".
No, not with enamel. I hate my fingernails growing too slowly for me to visit the Nunnery, at least by irregular steps (隔三岔五). Polishing fingernails is one of the proper ways for my lover to meet me. Whenever I visited her, she always wore a coif and looked beautiful. One day a gust of wind blew off her coif, and then she was just sitting in front of me. She was suddenly blushed. A bright, bulb-like head greeted me. She did not look ugly, but even more beautiful with her bulb-like head.
About one month ago a famous female film star with the bulb-like head like my lover's appeared on TV. I am sure she must be inspired by my lover's cool style.
BTW, I am quite familiar with the long, thin fingers. Do you know whose fingers they are? You will get bonus if you guess it.
此主题相关图片如下：
wind~
Hehe…, I know , I know, she has so many talents and learning and has good looks , beautiful figure. especially she has ten longer fingers and love to play violin like you , she is good at writing articles in which there is a pathos that can let reader slide into sentimentality . actually in real life she is a happy lady, she is … , wink
My bonus ! ?
littlebear
I hate my fingernails growing too slowly for me to visit the Nunnery, at least by irregular steps (隔三岔五). Polishing fingernails is one of the proper ways for my lover to meet me.
SDZ, a brilliant tactic sparked my thoughts. You have to say “much obliged” after reading it. You can count on another thing so you would be free of the irritation that “I hate my fingernails growing too slowly for me to visit the Nunnery” . Ready or not? Here goes……
BEARD!!!!
There is a word “five o’clock shadow”. That your beard can grow way faster than your fingernails is above suspicion. So you could visit your dear nun every day with a perfect excuse: your bristles-covered face need to be shaved. And another magnificent feature of this tactic is it can kill two birds with one stone: you could be more intimate with your dear nun. HA, HA, HA, HA, HA…….
What beautiful fingers! My answer is: they are the fingers of SDZ. The reason is your dear nun’s labor has paid off. HA, HA, HA, HA, HA…….
SDZ, your "The Cactus Studio " is wonderful. I learned some new words from it: cliff-hanging, brushwork, preternatural, rave reviews, in full wing. Good job, buddy.
Re wind~:
You are too clever and sweet. If only she could see these words.
Considering your doing an excellent job, I decide to give you the
best and delicate part of SDZ, ---（Malus Baccate / 山定子), as your bonus.
Malus Baccate / 山定子
以下是引用littlebear在2004-9-22 3:46:58的发言：
...HA, HA, HA, HA, HA…….
Littlebear, your hearty HA HA HA HA also makes me fall about laughing. Your "five o'clock shadow" tactic was once one of my favorite candidates. In this regard, it seems that "Great minds think alike." But all the efforts turned out to be in vain when my lover told me that in their Nunnery no nun was allowed to touch men's special things such as a shaver, etc. No wonder she could only touch my fingers. The dharma made her a model nun. Sigh! 
Reading/writing assignment II-4 : Short speeches. (Sep 20)
****I have never had the experience to write a short speech before. I would rather take the following short speeches as templates. If some day I need to write a short speech of this style, I can just choose one from them and fill in some necessary words. However I can create a new template based on styles taken from other templates. Now let me change some words in the templates and cook the short speeches, but it seems as if I am a slacker. ****
1. Ladies and Gentlemen, Good Morning!
On behalf of the Department of Acid Rain Studies I would like to welcome Professor Rain~ today to our class in Public Speaking. As you know, it has been a tradition in this Department to have such a class in the second year of study, and the time has now come for us to uphold this tradition. The theme of our class today is "How to Minimize Acid Rain?" and we are fortunate to have with us Professor Rain~ of Mercury University, who will speak to us on this subject. Professor Rain~, as we well know, is uniquely qualified to speak to us on this topic through his participation in this class. It gives me great pleasure, therefore, to be able to present to you a speaker to whom you certainly need no further introduction. Ladies and Gentlemen, our speaker for today, Professor Rain~.
2. Distinguished Guest, Ladies and Gentlemen:
This morning we are very pleased to be able to welcome Mr.Sun_shine as our guest speaker. Mr.Sun_shine has come to address us on the subject of "Sunshine and Human Mood" and as the Solar-Psycho Institute, which he represents, is known to be one of the leaders in this field, we are very fortunate indeed in having him here to talk with us about this subject. It should be a great help to us, particularly as we are presently researching some of these effects. So, on behalf of all of us, I'd like to welcome our guest speaker, Mr.Sun_shine.
3. Ladies and Gentlemen:
On behalf of the association of Bear Protection I would like to welcome our special guest, Professor Littlebear, Professor of zoology at Jura University. We are delighted that she will be able to be with us for the whole of the symposium.
We are most fortunate today to be able to hear a lecture by Professor Littlebear, who will speak on "Bear, a Great Benefit to Human Being." I am sure we are all looking forward very much to this interesting presentation, and so without further ado I would like to turn over the podium to Professor Littlebear. Ladies and Gentlemen, Professor Littlebear.
4. Thank you very much, Professor Wind~, for your excellent lecture on the advantage of wind power. I am certain that I can speak for all of us when I say that we have been both enlightened and benefited by what you have given us today. Again, we very much appreciate your being able to join us today, and it would be a privilege indeed if you could return to address us again sometime in the future.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this concludes the formal part of today's meeting, and so we can now adjourn for our informal stepdance at Windmill Club during which you will be able to meet and talk with Professor Wind~. Thank you.
wind~
Re SDZ:
I treasure all what you said to me and "gifts" you gave me. I seem to smell its fragrance and taste its sweet. yeah, the tree is the best shelter of Malus baccata , the Malus baccata is the tree’s smile .in the autumn the SDZ would sing with wind. Thank you ! ^&^
山定子
Reading/writing assig.#10: An "ad" for a hotel.
Welcome to the Potala Palace Hotel
The Potala Palace Hotel is located at the center of Lhasa city on the "roof of the world". Nestled in a pristine mountain setting on the "holy land", the Potala Palace Hotel offers comfort and luxury combined with the bleak but dramatically beautiful landscape. With unmatched style, decor and superb hospitality, the Potala Palace Hotel is an exquisite place to visit for a memorable experience. Offering both grand views and grand designs, it's no wonder that the Potala Palace Hotel is the only member of "The Leading Hotels of the World" in Lhasa. Enjoy the "holy land" in Himalaya style. Come and find out the difference for yourself.
**NEW**Reading-writing exercise: writing a biography,and an intro...
I will finish this assignment later. BTW, I like to recommend you a nice saving-reading-editing tool for the web page: Net Snippets. You can search it with google and download one.
Net Snippets v3.2.0.4
Name:
Code:7883-P-4847-645-41.
**NEW**Reading-writing exercise: writing a biography,and an intro...
Yeti, the best violinist and virtuosos
When the dust settles, Yeti may stand as the most important and influential violinists of the late 20th century. Innovating and iconoclastic, Yeti created new sounds that were never heard before. Restlessly innovative, Yeti kept practising and performing in the Himalayas. Apart from his unparalleled technical wizardry on the instrument, including the use of left-hand pizzicato, double-stop harmonics, ricochet bowings and a generally daredevil approach to performance ---all of which influenced successive violinists, his appearance completed the image of the satanic violinist. Yeti's angora-like hair makes a sharp contrast with his handsome face, giving him a supernatural aura. Few concert goers were left unmoved by a performance given by Yeti. Joylu60, an American poet at the time, described his impression of a concert given by Yeti: "It was a heavenly and diabolical enthusiasm, I have never seen or heard its like in my life". Yeti's ability to entrance an audience can be attributed to his physical appearance and to his technique, and even to the belief that he had help from the God.
Reading-Writing Assigment Thread II:*New*(11/19) 请假条(第13楼)
Leave of absence note
To David Snowman, Fortuneteller
From: Sdz,Treasury department
Date: Nov 25th,2004
Subject: Casual Leave of Absence
David, I would like to ask for a three-day leave because I have to fly to Canada to collect the ten-million-dollar prize at a lottery on Nov 28th,2004.
This morning my friend Fairygodmother phoned me that the lot came to me and the money must be collected with the winner's handwritten signature. If the winner failed to put his signature to the form at the given day, his proprietary rights to the prize shall be invalidated.
Concerning my promise: If I win the prize, I will contribute half to Rainlane for the construction of Music Board--- for the purchase of music instruments, hard&softwares for the moderators.
Thanks!
Best Regards!
SDZ
===========================
Revised by Uncle Yeti:
To David Snowman, Fortuneteller
From: Sdz,Treasury department
Date: Nov 25th, 2004
Subject: Casual Leave of Absence
David, I would like to ask for a three-day leave because I have to fly to Canada, on Nov 28th,2004, to collect a ten-million-dollar lottery prize.
This morning my friend Fairygodmother phoned me that I have won and the prize money must be collected with the winner's handwritten signature. If the winner fails to put his signature on the form at the given day, his proprietary rights to the prize shall be invalidated.
Concerning/(This is) my promise/pledge: If I win the prize, I will contribute half to Rainlane for the construction of Music the Board--- for the purchase of music instruments, hard&softwares for the moderators.
Thanks!
Best Regards!
SDZ
Yeti
I am "booting" this back up to the first page. (Just to let you know)
I was in the process of mending some broken links (those with board id=31 that should now be id=8) when I came across SDJ's exercise book. This reminded me of the time when there were lots of participants to writing projects, and English was used for more than 90% of the time in our English Corner. When a few other forums are now imitating us by have all English titles and site description, we seems to be drifting backwards. Let's hope we don't fall into the trap of deteriorating into a "talk about English" forum instead of an "using English forum."
山定子
Yes, that's only too true. It's better late than never. To avoid falling into the trap of deteriorating into only talking about how to swim instead of plunging into a pool to practise, I must follow the principle of "reading-writing-using English". Three meals a day regularly will do me more good than one big meal two or three days. Though that's not always practical for me to afford the time to write the long articles, that's good for making a few sentences from reading, or just a few lines of a small paragraph. I try to be a small but steady stream.
I like to take this opportunity to thank Uncle Yeti for his guiding us in learning and using English. I think I am really a lucky dog; and I should be always in a thankful heart.
