分类： 其他平台
2014-08-21 09:23:40
It can be difficult to strike a good balance when dating. How do you appear interested without coming off as desperate or needy? How do you get to know someone without being nosy or rude? And how do you figure out how a person feels about you--or tell them how you feel about them--without either of you feeling uncomfortable? Dating is a tricky business, but here are some guidelines that'll keep you in the mix.
1. Define your expectations. Why are you dating? What are you looking for? Do you want a lifetime commitment, or do you want to live completely in the moment? Whether or not you're seeking a commitment can make a difference in how you approach dating. If you're dating for fun and companionship, what matters most is how well you get along, right off the bat. If you're seeking a partner, you should be more willing to overlook initial shyness and awkwardness so that you can get to know a person over more than one date. Most of us are looking for a mixture of fun and commitment, but it's important to know where you stand so that you can figure out if your date is on the same page.
2. Put yourself out there. You don't have to hit the bars or the clubs to meet new people (although you can, if that's something you enjoy doing anyway). Pursue interests and activities that mean a lot to you. The Internet has made this a whole lot easier. Check forums,, listings, classifieds, and Internet mailing lists (known as "listservs") for local events or meetings that are likely to attract people with similar interests or passions. When you're there, be bold. If approaching someone you're interested in isn't really your style, you can still be bold by making yourself look approachable and inviting. Make eye contact, smile,, raise your eyebrows--make a connection from across the room.
3. Be selective. Don't just date anyone who shows an inkling of interest in you. Despite what everyone says about not judging a book by its cover,, people who are more discriminating tend to be seen as more desirable[1] probably because having standards shows that you value yourself and aren't going for a date with whoever crosses your path. At the same time, you don't want to be too selective--if you keep holding out for the perfect person,, you're guaranteed to miss out. If you're in a room full of people with similar interests, you should be able to pick out one or two people who you'd like to date--not 10,, not 0. Make it a point to not leave the event without showing interest and making a connection with a few people.
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