For the first time in the presence of all tears, is in many years ago, I as an intern teachers in listened to other the teacher. At that time the old teacher is about the figure of zhu, listen, listen, I was out of control to cry, provoked the whole class more than 40 students are astonished to look at me.
I can think of is niang, is when I remember the grey hair has a mother. Niang is not my own mother, my parents had me, but no keep me. My mom was the village a silly women, all the day nonsense, even the life not even take care of oneself. It is said, is to pick up the birth of her mother, she hugged me of that a moment, was surprisingly calm. Her face reveals a maternal splendor, big star is big star to drop a tear. Mother gave birth to me after more than a month, and by the public security personnel take away, from now on and his father started lengthy prison terms. And I, since then became niang of children, that year, niang 43 years old.
Everyone was that my mom was keep not to live my, so silly of a woman, and even oneself all care not, don't even say serve a full moon just kids. But, person in the village at last in shock from understand, have me in the side day, my mom was normally sober. Her ability to cook the XiaoMiZhou him, slowly feed into my mouth; She can like all my mother's, the most exquisite feelings and love pour into on my own. People sometimes marvel that said I may be the gift of her medicine.
Niang came to the village is now state of mind, from now on and then stay here down, providing people with ablaze the chat them topic. It is on this situation, and I was also grew slowly automatics, and than other people's children are strong. From can remember, the most common is niang of spontaneous and tears. Listen to other people say, niang had never faced away tears, ever since the me, had to wipe tears all day. I am also very early know niang and other people's house of children is not the same as the mother, she can't talk with me, most of the time, she is a man said to himself, don't know what to say. She didn't have the most kind smile, some just endless tears. I even feel less than her love, in addition to eat three meals a day, other what is no matter I.
After school, I don't get what a frown. Here the honest people, and no one laughs at me, even the most naughty child is active to seek me to play, I don't care a silly girl. In fact, ever since the I later, in addition to the daily one-way conversation and tears, and almost no abnormal niang place. In the image of the niang only hit me twice, played an extremely heavy stone. The first is my swimming under the river. There is a village west clearly bright creek, the village children in the summer to water flopped about, of course I will go also. That day, from whatever my niang suddenly dove into the water, I pulled up, fold a root wicker as soon as smoke in my body, hit a series of detection. I just don't understand, I climbed high in the tree top pick wild fruit she whatever I, I climbed up the steep cliff xishan her no matter I, I take the stone and the nearby villages play came her children regardless of I, only in so shallow swimming in the river, but she so spanking.
Another time, at that time I was in town junior high school has read. One day her to the school to give I SongLiang, was found in the school door I and a girl talking and laughing. When she threw the shoulders of LiangDai, crazy general rushed over to play me, my nose to hit the blood. Although I didn't understood, but still don't hate her. Then I have to think a lot of things, also from mouth to mouth know oneself story. A woman like this, can I biult, for me to go to school, pay, to as much as one thousand times more than others. I'm grateful to my niang, although I didn't and she exchange, but I have to experience that love. And, all of which have not dozen children mother, and she played just me twice!
To say niang have offensive to me place, is her tears. No matter what the time where, as long as a see I cry. Other people's children a month back to a home, when mom is joy mouths, and my niang, meet my only my eyes forever. Sometimes I ask her: "niang, you how a see me cry, as did you raise me not!!!" That time, she still tears flow not only, can't speak a word. For I have never niang intimate act, at least since I can remember never had. She seldom hug me, even took my hand was. The many, many, always I think will also do not go to think, niang is not a normal person, why and she dispute these!
Go to school in the town, niang monthly food rations to send me a time. She is always on Saturday afternoon on time arrive at the school gate at one o 'clock, and I was out there. She put the shoulders of LiangDai put on the ground, look me in the eye, turn round and then walk. I often gazed at the back of her in a daze, that figure to handle, she sometimes carried sleeve a wipe eyes, the wind blew her thatch of hair. Every time I looked at the niang figure disappeared in the corner of the street, not between period like that, that figure was gradually came into my dream.
Get into the county after one, and the number of times to niang less, and turned into a few months. Mainly to send money, niang his money is hard to, the money, it is person in the village of increase. Those kind of people, since I entered the house, they would not have interrupted for helping us. Three one day last semester, just experienced a test, I and a live on campus of female classmate to walk along the side about the test. To the dorm door unexpectedly found niang standing there, dusty, 30 of the road, she must walk is. She saw us, momentarily, fiercely blunt come over, and raise hand, paused for a moment, slowly falling on my face, and touched it, and at that moment, my heart swelled a huge moved. Her from the pocket a roll of money tucked into my bag, and looked at me for a minute, the corner to tears, and then turned away. I turned to the female classmate say: "this is my niang......"
That was the last time I and niang she met in a month after a night, quietly the world, this year, she is 62 years old. I often remember the last time I saw niang situation, she is the most warm gentle with a touch, put her case this life in my life.
I take an examination of the normal, back to the village change registered permanent residence, folks in the elementary school a few table set meal, to see me off. The dinner, old village head to I speak up niang of in the past, this is the first time I know niang background. Old village head said, niang is originally a village LinXiang villagers, her husband died in MeiJing, she pulled at a son hard life, just as it had been in the feed me. Her son in the middle school, due to early love, the result is getting worse, how do for her discipline also of no help. Later, and son fall in love the girl in the transfer of feelings, and therefore the son dropped out, full day is spirit trance. She thought of a long time, but finally one day, the child thrown into a village south of the river and drowned. From then on, she became crazy, began go village in tuen mun general life of a beggar, until the this village, she race here and Ann.
At that moment, suddenly remembered niang beat me that twice, it suddenly in the heart immediately. Feel has been niang played place, and pain start up and straight to the heart pain. Later in life, to the thoughts of niang has become a habit. I in every ~ road wait-and-see, dim eyes can not find the infirm figure. Niang at the beginning of the tears are now come to my eyes, and that figure is already far to already separate a life time. I most close of niang, her tears and figure, I have become a lifetime of never a pain.
