Like all a woman, I believe that I love, pursuing the perfect, more like petted in every way love.
About him, there are always too many find difficult to talk about. Don't want to touch the memories of easily, and not mention past smoke.
In the days after we graduate, I steadfast felt what is happiness. I like to look up at him, one meter twice he, let petite I have an unprecedented sense of security. He always said he'd I fitted into his pocket, every day with me to go to work.
And the days of his life together, looks like a dream. When I from a salad girl into a housewife, I can look back the passage, remember the innocence of youth and perfect. The more, the more you want to remember painted future life. But I also know that, the dream wedding may not he just started the career stage finish, but I still wait silently.
As he said, I am the easy and decent. Therefore, although he often mention his colleagues "Chiang blue", I won't be jealous or didn't allow him to mention.
His job is busy, time to go home and later. In more and more empty days, I am in a snowy night alone walked to the station, I want to home.
Pass by a house building, I suddenly stopped. I looked up and to the fifth floor yell, blue elder sister! Jiang blue appeared in the balcony, the smile like a flower how off. Are more than forty woman, I don't understand why I want to embarrass her. I said with a laugh, blue elder sister, he is in your this? She calmly said, not really, not letter you up to look at it. I keep looking at her to say that, no. Say that finish, big mark time walked to the station.
He didn't come home that night, never explain. I'm too lazy to ask also don't want to ask. As bickering and contradictions gradually upgrade, I said to him, this several days to parents that live, don't come back. He is gentle smile, advised me to go home do not capricious, listen to the words of my parents. I looked at his eyes, to see the answer from the inside.
That night, I sit on the top of the dark living room, like a le carre's gold. When the key in the door hole voice breaking night of the silence, my heart almost jumped in my mouth. How I wish all is me narrow-minded, all is I entertain foolish ideas. After door open, the lamp. He and jiang blue like two wood as looking at me. Six eye relative, my heart has been sinking. I said with a laugh, blue elder sister. Jiang blue face took on a a funny expressions. Less than ten seconds, she said, I'm leaving. Say that finish be defeated and flee. She closed the moment of my tears fell down.
A house, two people, night has no language. I put on my coat, the real return to their parents' home. The trance over the next few days, returned to him.
Day can only go forward, a direction shun always, don't know how long, so want to let you know. I still love you, is the only retreat, I still cherish, every moment of happiness.
Not a promise, no guarantee. He just told me, he would use the actual action give me the happy life. As they did, I grace of smile, like tolerance a often steal to eat candy children.
Don't cold after half a year, about my girlfriend to travel. See his girlfriend, they know that in addition to her boyfriend, and a his boyfriend's friends together. That night in the expensive traveling scenic area, we opened only 2 rooms. Girl friend say with smile, on a night, early tomorrow morning we will change to! Say that finish, arm in arm went into the room of her boyfriend. I laughed to man, generous lie in one bed, and went to sleep.
I think I just contact with my boyfriend, didn't understand the nature of man. So when feel someone touched my hand, I am so nervous and surprised, closed eyes even atmosphere all dare not out. He's just always hold my hand, and soon let go of my hands and walked away. In my long breathed a sigh of relief, he and walk back hold my hand. I still with his eyes closed, or move. I leaned almost stiff, he still hold my hand, do the ideological struggle. I suddenly feel a whole evening is like a long years.
When appearing before a light, I know at dawn. I opened my eyes, he still hold my hand. I said with a laugh, thank you. His expression elusive. Finally he touch my head say with smile, this said thank you is I, silly girl.
At the end of the trip, he send me to the station. He hug me said, thank you for your tolerance and kind, you are the most elegant I've ever seen the generous woman. I laugh. Perhaps, the so-called tolerance and elegant in before her boyfriend, but is weak and humble performance.
From the station back home, and I tried to open the door, but heard from the house in a hurry footsteps. In I didn't open the door before, the door is locked from inside. From hand baggage fall, I was calm and said, open the door. No response.
I smiled to smile. Alone downstairs, but they don't know where to go. I sit on the side of the road, like an abandoned the small animals. He came over to me and lowered himself said, come home with me, I miss you. I looked at his eyes, like the saw a the most funny thing in the world.
I deeply remember just and he together, he said, and I will do his woman. I stare big eyes, unidentified so. He went on to say, if I get this, he will get from the other women. I am like a silly little sheep, in order to get her pet eyes, pull out the most precious hair on please master. So just a moment, I'll from the girl into a woman. But now I can get from this, why he and from other women that claim? I seem to don't understand, but they seem to want to infinity.
Once again return to the parents home, chaotic live. Until about I meet jiang blue. I look at what is in front of the old woman, don't understand the early 20 s I, what exactly is lost to such where the flowers with liu. I smile and say, haven't I find you, but you first find me. Her delicate and poor said, I love him. Although I have children and husband, but I feel at home basic not love. Only with him, I had of being petted, is the feeling of people care.
The feeling of being petted, which women don't want this kind of feeling. I suddenly feel she is poor. Forty several, also do is more than 20 of small favor dream. I calmly said, elder sister, you want me to just let it go. She looked at me, his eyes blossom a surprise.
Later, and the last time he met, his sad asked, the snow night, why not go upstairs? I didn't answer.
Because, like the sea never doubt days of blue, as sometimes the end must have life, life is no he don't try so hard.
If I had to answer, that my answer is, if you want to fly, back pain I.
But I still don't regret met him, in that way a let me BaiZhuanQianHui of him, that make me cry all night after night he, in that way a still no one can replace after many years of him.
You must be so hopeless love a person, you further on driving, after water thousand mountain, just for a surprise to him, then the results gave him, process for herself.
But no matter how end, mixed with love and hatred in the emotion, we have the joy of have love.
