In another two years
In early 2009, the magazine where I should start a new column, want to let information block remote mountain of keeping pace with The Times, promote the remote mountain information exchange, information sharing and so on. I as a column of fields was sent to a remote area small town. First came here, are just not used to it. Want to wash a hot bath must run to 25 kilometers outside the county town. Helpless, I have to grinding her teeth and dark in the yard while standing at wake.
The second day, I began to a high fever. And when I woke up, I already lying in the hospital. Listen to my colleague said, in the night I burn to 39 degrees 6, completely in a coma, is they rushed to pull me to the county hospital.
I am very grateful, hold the hand of his colleagues vigorously shakes ah wave, just don't know what to say. Lose a day liquid, I cried out to go back, the doctor said the best we lose two days. I said a day I don't want to lose. Colleagues looked at me not to speak, because the company sent to work here have we three people, now leave the two, a person can't work. I can imagine my another fellow, affirmation gazing longingly at the sunrise and sunset waiting for us back?
Colleagues help I took three days of medicine, they hired motorcycle back to town. Just born feet, another colleagues and see the help benefactors like right towards us, hands holding a pack of things run shout: gift gift, someone to send you a gift.
I am lost half a day, just understand is gift to me. Open on see, in which there are all commodities: shampoo, bath towel, toothbrush toothpaste, towel chewing gum... And so on, all is a double, and still I common most like to use the brand. I immediately collapsed. Although not the sender signed, but I know is she, affirmation is to her. My tears silent, too not try to make a good showing in front of colleagues face unexpectedly with tears in her eyes.
Two colleagues were flabbergasted, ask what's happening? I said nothing, silently walk into the room. To the desolate frontier town of less than a week, how did she know my address? Even I Shanghai best man also just know I was sent to the mountain, the detailed address to me nothing. How did she know?
I hurriedly call the Shanghai headquarters, ask a circle of people all say don't know. The last of the department manager said to me: a few days ago have a girl called to let's club, said it was your faithful reader, she wanted to send you a gift, and I will tell her the address.
I hand of zombie in mid-air, it was doodle du the blind sound of still don't know down. I have nothing to say, a tore heart crack lung of pain sliced into the chest. That is not the pain, the desperate cannot breathe pain who can understand? Courtyard in still empty, boundless darkness were sent to stay in the branches, that no matter how to also not to swing the shadow like Ganges in the circulation of millions of quicksand, irresistible in my heart to penetrate the deepest, the pain of I tossing and turning.
I completely understand, small west is at my side, not far from the moment in my thoughts are with me. Small west, where are you? Why not come out and see me? Why so many years have been lonely person walk? Why in pain and happiness does not leave me a little bit between the trace of the walk? Why?
If you give me a chance, I'll boldly to love you!
Outside the window, a group of birds over, their wings beat the town moist air, cheerful fly......
I'm from a small town back to Shanghai. The second day just to the company, his colleagues gave me a package, saying is two months ago's post. I quickly opened, there was a CD, a string of beads, a letter.
The letter said that: night, I am small west, this is the last time I talked with you. Over the years, I've been waiting for you, really quickly became a tree winter trees. Remember when you go to the guangzhou that day? You leave me from that moment on, I will know that you won't come back. But, I would rather watching that self-deception emotion, lifetime also don't want to wake up.
After you arrive in Shanghai, the Spring Festival with a me in the past. When I saw you the good life, dropped the idea of looking for you. In order to be with you in a city, I decided to work in Shanghai, under the same sky to gaze at you in silence the happiness and joy. I no see you is the main cause of don't want to give you trouble, I hope I love the people because of love, love me, not because I love to accept. I always believe what you said, you said you would have to pick me up, I have been waiting for the day.
In Shanghai, although we never see each other again, but as long as I thought of you in the side, it is a kind of say a warm. A year later, when I decided to return to your side, but found that you have the girlfriend. I had to tore heart crack lung of give up, have to continue to gaze at you in silence everything. You know what? This life my greatest wish is to wish you happy happiness, carefree. I don't want to bother you happiness of life, as long as you happy, I am happy.
When you break up with her, I just know you have been looking for me, always can not let go of the person be me. For this reason, I cried a lot of evening, and god for us really don't fair, because at that time I already knew that I had breast cancer, and it is too late. I was in the two years of his torture, that want to see your mood has not with longing two words to describe. I know, if you saw me like this, you must be very painful, two personal pain will be painful than let a person to bear. So, I'm completely give up see your idea, will this unbearable thoughts and sadness with you into the piece of bury my land. If there is any life, I hope do you love.
You know what? I've always thought you won't fall in love with me, and will not have me as you this life only cared about. Now think about how much ignorance funny at the time. I received in so much E-mail, I cry, cry of happiness. I know that you love me.
Night, forgive me leave without say goodbye. If there really is heaven and hell of words, whatever I went where, I will be in another world, bless for you. Remember, no tears, you will live a happy heart. For loved you, for you have love, love for your future and want to be happy of alive.
Ok, ok. This is the last time to send you things, there is a CD, especially for you is I recorded a song, are you most loves to hear the song "winter tree", and a string of beads, is when I was a child my grandma gave me, put on it the life is safe, give it to you!
Those in the sky blooms of fireworks all the more good-looking. Looking at the Shanghai this empty and silence fell night sky, I suddenly find it all is like a painful death, everything will be I can't help flat scars and can't forget memory. Close your eyes and think of heart bottom dream, suddenly and very afraid after the night, wake up already is one hundred body, after dreaming of the age.
It hurts for months. My strong, I the fragile, I love, I hate, and my laughter and tears will with the loss of small west bit on the end of the days that the skylight. Fold over time of reunion, I and she was destined to be two track on the meteor, recent margin passed way.
Three weeks later, I was sent to the border town of company. Life and, as usual calm up, just every dusk, looking at is immersed in the underground sunset, I'll unjustly feel sad, feel the founder of disconsolate, though this is I often ignore the emotions, but, once feel it's true, it will be with my life.
