10 common mistakes in first date

The best thing about bad dates is that we walk away with a great story, and little doubt that the perpetrator is not the person for us.

I was thinking about some of the common errors made on first dates. I came up with1 0 common mistakes that could kill the chances for a second date:

在失望的约会中有什么是稍感欣慰的？也许就是当我们带着一个编好的故事赴约，却又有点担心故事中的受害者不太适合自己。

我曾想过一些首次约会时会犯的常见错误，总结出10个，它们可能会毁了你第二次约会的机会。

Arriving Late

Even five minutes of lateness is inexcusable on the first date. People are already anxious on these excursions, so making someone wait and think more about everything is pretty rude. Seems like the trend in NYC is to be late for things regularly. On one date, I texted the girl and told her I was running late. She said she was too. We ended up just having the date ½ hour later than planned and technically no one was late because we were both ½ hour late together.

一，迟到。

在第一次约会时，即使是5分钟也不能迟到。别人已经处于一个焦急与紧张的状态，还让对方等待、增加各种担心，这样实在太没礼貌了。额，看起来在纽约迟到好像是正常的，在一次约会中，我对一个女孩进行了测试，告诉她我跑出来的时候已经晚了，而她告诉我：她也是。我们都同时比计划中迟到了半个小时，但严格意义上来说，其实并没有人迟到，因为我们一起迟到了半个小时。

Wardrobe Malfunction

Make sure you cater what you wear to what you're doing. I try not to make a girl walk too much if she's in heels. Also, I've seen girls wear pearls and a nice blouse to trashy outdoor drinking events, or heels to sporting events.

二，着装不当

确保你的着装与你所参加的场合相符。我尽量不让女孩们穿着高跟鞋走路太多。同样的失败案例：有些女孩戴着珠宝，穿着精致的服装在脏乱的大街上喝东西，或者穿着高跟鞋参加体育活动。

Talking Politics or Religion

Staying away from debatable content is a good idea the first time out. It's fun to argue with your significant other, but I think it's important to reach a comfort level first. If you try to proselytize someone, or battle them over a hot topic like abortion, you may reach a point of no return.

三，谈论政治或宗教

第一次出去时最好远离争议性的内容。虽然与对方争论不会让场面无趣，但我想最重要的一点是，千万不要过火。如果你试图让对方改变信仰，或者在一些，如堕胎这样的敏感问题上说服对方，那你以后想要改变观点也不行了。

Checking Out Other People

You'd think that no one would do this, but guys are always looking at waitresses, or other patrons when out. My one friend got in hot water because his date told me he made cat calls at other girls while on a date. Talk about a mistake!

四，打量其他人

你是否以为不会有人这么做?但是男人们总喜欢打量女服务员或其他什么人。我的一位朋友有一次约会后之所以失败收场，就因为他对别的女孩嘲讽了一下。

Bringing Friends (Non Group Date)

If you bring friends along you look immature and insecure. You also throw the other person for a loop if they were expecting the date to be one-on-one. Make sure you establish that it is a one-on-one date, and follow the rules and show up alone.

五，带上其他朋友（这可不是聚会哦）

如果你带上了其他朋友，这就是不成熟和没有安全感的表现。如果他们原以为这个是两人约会，另一个人难免会觉得尴尬。确保你发起的是一个一对一的约会，遵守这项规则，独自出行。

Getting Too Drunk

Some people turn into a completely different person when they are drunk. Let the other person learn about you while you're sober, before you get wasted with them. Alcohol should be introduced into the relationship slowly, but if a drink or two takes the edge off, and wine adds romance it's fine. Just don't push it too far.

六，过量饮酒

有些人在喝醉了的时候会完全变成了另一个人。趁你没醉没吐的时候，就向对方坦白你是个怎样的人吧，酒精应该在彼此关系发展到一定阶段再发挥作用，但如果只是浅尝辄止，或者增加一点浪漫气氛，这是没问题的，不要过量就好。

Being Too Aggressive

No one wants to deal with someone's wandering hands before they are ready. It is one of the best ways to creep someone out. Just because someone is getting dinner with someone once doesn't mean it's an invitation into the sack. It's best to be hands off on the first date.

七，太过主动

没有人希望在还没做好准备时就牵手。这是代表一个拒绝别人的好方法，因为别人只是想和你吃个饭，而不是邀请你进入情网。所以，第一次约会时最好还是不要牵手。

Being Too Unaggressive

My friend Margaret warns me to be more aggressive all the time. She said that if I don't kiss someone at the end of a date, or make a move when they hop in my bed they will begin to think something's wrong with them, or that I'm not into them. Maybe that's true, but sometimes I am just being too safe so that I don't break the rule I just mentioned above.

八，太过被动

我的朋友玛格丽特时时告诫我要主动些。她说如果我在约会结束后还不吻对方，或者他们的屁股已经坐到了我的床上时还不做出点表示，对方肯定会以为自己做错了什么，或者我根本不在乎他。也许这是对的，但有时我只是不想为了过分保护自己而违反了上面所提到的规则。

Canceling at the Last Minute or Standing Someone Up

Canceling for a legitimate reason is fine, but respect your date's time so that they can plan their night without you. Canceling one hour before a date is not cool — most of the date prep has already started at this point. Standing someone up is so rude. What does it accomplish? If you change your mind, at least have the strength to just cancel. No need to make someone feel bad and waste their time just because you're too chicken to cancel the date.

九，在最后时刻取消约会/让别人劝你加入

有正当的理由取消约会当然没什么，但请尊重你的约会时间，以致他们可以把你排除在晚上的计划之外。在临约会前一个小时取消并不酷，大部分的约会已经在这个时间准备好了。让别人劝你加入也不是很礼貌的，应该怎么做？如果你改变了主意，只要肯定地说出来就好了。不必让对方感到糟糕，浪费时间，而只是因为你在取笑约会这件事上犹豫不决。

Dominant Speaker

Try to breathe in between sentences, and don't talk too much. Give your date a chance to talk. Aren't you trying to get to know one another? And don't speak for that other person (i.e order for them at dinner) unless they invite you to help with their order.

Do you agree or disagree with any of these? Ever have these happen to you, or have you ever made these mistakes? Would you go on a second date after any of these mistakes? What would you add to this list?

十，话语狂

尝试下在每个句子之间调整下呼吸，不要说得太多。让你的约会变成对话，难道你不想更了解对方吗？也不要帮对方说话（如当点餐时），除非他们邀请你帮他们点餐。

你是否同意以上这些？你是否碰巧遇上了这样的人，或者你曾经犯过这些错误？你还想在犯了这些错误后还能有第二次的约会机会吗？你认为以上内容还有什么不足的吗？欢迎补充。